2006 / February 15^th/ The friends you keep

This is going to be a very rare post from me: a post about drama in the blogsphere. Yep, I said it. Blogsphere. Today, 9rules announced that they’re going to start weeding out the garden a bit. The first people that got kicked out are now screaming “why me, god, why me?” as if they didn’t know it was coming. So, let’s lay down a few yes-you-live-in-the-real-world facts.

Networks are about networking

If this isn’t the most obvious statement of the year, I don’t know what is. For some reason a hell of a lot of people seem to think that networks are about money. Be it traffic demands, advertising demands, or straight up monetary rewards.

What this means is that you should consider the network your friend, every person in the network another person you want to know. It also means that you can’t be a purely negative force in the network and expect others to welcome you with open arms. It’s a two-way street.

Erati network?

Sooner or later you have to bring up this whole “erati” network or whatever the hell you want to call it if you want to understand what’s going on. A man named Cowboy and a few lonely girls realized they could get a hell of a lot of traffic by standing in direct opposition to Scrivs. Don’t believe the bullshit that Cowboy puts up about him hating Scrivs or any of that crap–it’s all about PR. I know it, you know it, and at the end of the day, no one gives a shit. It’s worked for him: he’s got the traffic the “popularity” of the blogsphere. Hoo-ray.

The important thing to realize is: Cowboy created a company. In order to make this company succeed, he needed an advertising ploy. This ploy was to make himself mortal enemies with Scrivs. So it has gone on, and it’s worked. The company is successful (well, to his standards) and he is mortal enemies with Scrivs.

The relationship dynamic

The next predictable step in Cowboy’s quest for money was to collect individuals inside the 9rules network and make them bat for his team. The purpose of this? To cause Scrivs pain and force him to publicize Cowboy more. Really, it was inevitable. At some point, Scrivs was going to need to weed out those sleeping with Cowboy, and it was going to give him more exposure.

Those affected

Unfortunately for a few people, I’m not sure they realized that they can’t be sleeping with the enemy and expect to stay in the network. From their posts, they’re talking like it was a shot out of the dark and that Scrivs had no right doing so. Well, welcome to the real world boys and girls. You just learned your first life lesson: don’t be a dumbass.

Let this be a lesson

Let this be a lesson to all of you inexperienced in the real world. Your friends define who you are, and your relationships have real world consequences. You can’t expect everyone to separate different aspects of your life for your own benefit; you have one life, one identity. Be careful of the friends you keep.

1. 

   Ben

   February 15^th | #

   Kyle - I think the first thing I wrote in my post was that I knew it was coming, I’m not asking why me, I’m asking why 9rules handled it so badly. If they had emailed me and asked me to decide whether I wanted to be a part of 9rules or Blog Media I would have been happy to make a decision and let them know. Of course, Paul did tell me that if I ever leave Blog Media I am (or was) welcome back at 9rules. There are no hard feelings and I’m not crying “why me.”

   I will still visit the sites in 9rules, I will still visit 9rules and keep track of al the members. I’ll still read your site a few times a week.

2. 

   Andrew Hamann

   February 15^th | #

   I have an idea; everyone should step back, pause, and realize that they are taking things far too seriously. We are blogging, not locked in a to-the-death struggle for survival, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I blog because I want to have fun. My first priority is not f***ing that up.

3. 

   Kyle

   February 15^th | #

   Ben, I think that’s my point there. You can’t expect them to ask you before hand… it’s kind of one of those things where you choose a path when you start out. Rarely in the real wold do you get point for point expectations of what will happen if you do X.

   That being said, by no means am I saying I (or anyone) is ignoring/hating on you guys. I’m still subscribed to your feed (though not Girlspoke or Chris’… but I wasn’t before either). But on the other hand, if I wanted to share something with the network, I would be wise to exclude those associated with erati due to past actions. That’s what I’m trying to get at, I suppose.

   Andrew: Yeah, we are blogging. But this lesson applies for all of life. I’ve gone through my own trials and learned a lot about how others think about you via your friends. Just keep in mind the friends you keep, as blogging or trying to land seven figure project — it’s an important idea to grasp :)

4. 

   Matt

   February 15^th | #

   Some factual corrections:

   • there is no company called erati
   • cowboy does not own equity in blogmedia
   • Ben was doing contract work for me long before Cowboy was in the picture
   • No one cowboy is sleeping with is working for me

   I’m happy to answer questions about BlogMedia, Inc. - asking those questions would make it easier for you to post facts rather than your own rumor and speculation.

   Matt

5. 

   Kyle

   February 15^th | #

   Matt: Had you read my post, you would not have the need to follow up with corrections to facts that were never stated.

   Then again, maybe I’m dreaming and this whole erati thing doesn’t exist. And maybe I’m just making shit up when Cowboy says he’s launching a blog network called erati.

   But then again, the details of who started what are meaningless to the content in this post. For all I care, Mandy Moore could have sole propritorship over BlogMedia/Erati/Whatever. My points would remain the same.

6. 

   Matt

   February 15^th | #

   I read your post - your facts are wrong. I consider facts to be important - if you don’t, so be it.

   Matt

7. 

   Mike Rundle

   February 16^th | #

   I hate being nocturnal….. how about you guys? ;)

8. 

   Chris P.

   February 16^th | #

   Kyle, I don’t appreciate accusations of “why me,” especially not when they’re stated as though 9rules is the be-all-end-all of blog associations. Look, I understand perfectly well that you’re one of the “high profile” members of the 9rules community, and I respect that as well as the work that you do.

   I do, however, think it’s inappropriate to state things as you’ve done here. I understand you backing an organization that’s been very good to you, but seriously, to call out Ben and me like that…And really mostly Ben, given that you admitted to being a reader of his site. If you have a problem with Cowboy, that’s fine, but don’t attempt to drag Ben (or me) through the mud as a result.

9. 

   Matt

   February 16^th | #

   My wife is in the hospital, so there’s been a few late & sleepy nights here.
   Morning :)

   Coffee?

   Matt

10. 

    Kyle

    February 16^th | #

    Chris: By no means am I a “high profile” community member, or even any sort of official spokesperson for 9rules. I’m just me. Kyle here. As far as the accusations, I suggest you read your entry again. Your entire post is outlining the reasons you feel 9rules was unjust in kicking you out.

    Insofar as my points, you clearly stated you are friends (and working with) Cowboy. To me, being discharged from the network was inevitable: whether you were The Duce, whether The Duce said nasty things about 9rules, or whether you save kittens in trees in your free time. Your friends are your friends, and you must beware the consequences of associating with some people. That was (and still is) the entire point of this post. From the title to the last sentence.

    The end result is that you guys know what you’re doing. Your company tries to manipulate the public into thinking you’re doing something different by arguing pointless “facts” across blogs (you’ve done it many times before) in order to obscure what’s really going on. You guys were desperately looking for PR, you found a way, and you got it. No amount of arguing will convince me otherwise. It’s like the bully arguing that it really wasn’t his fault, with blood on his hands standing over the unconscious kid.

11. 

    Kyle

    February 16^th | #

    Oh, and in an effort to keep this place a tad more civilized, I’m closing comments on this entry. Gotta love bein’ in control.