Your latest blog post hits a note with me also. I work for a company which relies on me to come up with 90% of the design works for sites and nearly 100% of the coding. Now im nowhere near a great designer but i know when i turn designs in that they could be so much better if i wasnt under the stress and constraints placed upon me. Its hard to submit something you feel could be better!

Don’t worry, I’m planning on taking some time off more or less - and I always keep some time for personal projects so I don’t go insane. Next quarter I’ll have a lot more extra time on my hands that will be well earned.

I could really identify with the feelings you shared. I’m definitly much more of a coder than a designer and am in awe by artists that apparently keep the creative juices flowing without interuption - even under pressure.

However, what I think you’d find in a discussion with them is that they feel they’re not producing their best either when under stress. It’s just that their subpar designs exceeds our best attempts… Nothing to be discouraged by - just part of learning about where our own strengths lie.

It took me until my mid-thirties to realize that my own strength was working very quickly while maintaining attention to detail. When I was learning how to program, I was consistently the first in my class to submit my programs for compile and for the first 5 weeks of school never even had a single compile error. I finally learned that it was even faster to make a few mistakes, let the compiler find them, then fix them.

As a submarine reactor operator in the Navy, I challenged myself to be the fastest onboard to complete a “pre-critical checkoff” before starting up the reactor - without making any mistakes. I completed in 4 hours what took most 5-6 hours - without a single error.

Anyway, this strengh along with being organized and a good people person (who respected those around me with greater technical and design skills) took me in the direction of management. The detail-oriented skills came in very handy as the “scale” of the projects grew. Only recently did I leave that path due to burnout to start over and try something new - web design.

I wouldn’t be surprised from the little I’ve learned of you, if you take a similar path - whether in web development or civil engineering (it’s all the same stuff from a management perspective).

You’ll be a good “doer” in either career and naturally rise to the top due to being so well-rounded. It is just as valuable in a team environment to have well-rounded members as it is to have members who are extremly talented in their specialty. Those who run the show are usually the well-rounded ones who have learned to respect the superior talent of those around them and know how to harness it.

You’ve got a promising career ahead - just learn to pace yourself to avoid burnout. You’ll find that you can contribute even more by working less hours and maintaining time for other “renewing” pursuits.

fwiw, rb