August 14th/ How to make the worst of your college career
While I’m nearing 1½ years after my own college graduation, I thought it might be a good idea to start writing down some of my own experiences from college. First up: how to make the worst of your college career.
1. Take as many AP classes as you can in High School
Who needs those dumb ass lower-level classes anyway? It’s all your friends talk about. Blah blah blah, something stupid happened in English today. Blah blah blah, I totally got this chick’s phone number in Math. Blah blah blah… you did the right decision though, you skipped out on all these lower level classes. Sure, none of your Physics or Chemistry classes carried over, and it took three AP English classes to counter-act one college English class, and your AP History and Political Science classes only counted for half of college-level classes… but you did the right thing. Right?
I mean, you passed elven AP exams. And for that you were able to skip out on three and a half of the easiest classes of your college career. Those easy classes where you get time to meet people and study with the cute girl on the other side of the dorm. Totally lame.
2. Take only the classes required for your degree
College is all about getting through as fast as you possibly can. That means no extra classes that you might think are interesting. It’s best to just focus solely on classes that will get you your degree, then get out as fast as possible. You laugh as you graduate a year ahead of schedule and move out to LA where you don’t know anyone. All your loser friends are still stuck back at college, learning things and killing brain cells.
3. Choose a career in your original major at all costs
When you first applied to colleges your Senior year of High School, they made you choose a major right then and there. You studied the descriptions of majors, told yourself you knew what it was like and that was it. Done. Finito. Therefore you should keep going with that major no matter the cost. Furthermore, even if you are offered a great job that you enjoy doing outside your major after graduation, you should definitely turn it down. A single decision made by your seventeen year old self should definitely shape your entire life.
4. Get straight A’s
All companies care about is GPA. In fact, I’ve heard that 93.2% of companies use your GPA as a salary multiplier in hiring negotiations. That’s why you have to try so hard to get nothing but A’s in all of your classes. One B will in fact ruin your entire career for the rest of your life.
5. Move off-campus by yourself as fast as possible
Roommates suck. Noise sucks. People suck. That’s why the best plan of action is to move off campus as fast as you possibly can, and definitely find a studio by yourself in some quiet neighborhood. It’s the practical thing to do. You need quiet for your studies and you can’t be bothered by your drunk friend knocking on your door at 10pm. You’ll still socialize, sure. People will call you all the time and come over and pick you up. But on your schedule, not theirs.
6. Spend $40,000 a year on tuition, but $1,000 a year on personal expenses
Loans suck. That’s why you’ve got to save every dime. Forget going to dinner with your friends. (That’ll cost at least $10!). That $40k/year on tution? That’s fine. But it’s those dime-by-dime expenses you’ve got to skimp out on. Over the course of your entire college career you could end up increasing the amount of your loans by like 5%! Not having fun at all is totally worth that extra savings.
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August 14th | #
Hey Kyle, thanks for posting this. I’ve just discovered why I’ve had the best college career of anybody in history - by doing/being the complete opposite (remember the free t-shirts you got “just” from signing up for a credit card? Yeah - don’t spend a dime on those lines of credit, either.). :)
August 14th | #
You hit it right on the nose. The only thing I might argue with is that getting close to straight As can save you a lot of money if you apply for scholarships the next year.
August 14th | #
Sean: I found that grades have almost nothing to do with getting scholarships. I naively thought that I could get scholarships as a white male from middle class families. That was until my school pretty much laughed at my face at the notion. Your race, gender, geographical position and parent’s gross income have far more to do with it. In fact, I’d be so bold as to say more than 3/4 of all scholarships are a direct result of this.
For the vast majority of college-going kids, scholarships just aren’t even an option. The ones who do get them rarely ever get them for grades alone.
August 14th | #
I just graduated 8 months ago, and I couldn’t agree more, especially with point number 6. College is about the experience; it’s a bigger waste of money to sit around worrying about the money the whole time!
August 14th | #
As a pretty recent high school senior and brand new college freshman, I have this to say: I took a bunch of AP tests just because I was in the classes, and it’s a plus that I came out of high school with a bunch of college credits, but that’s not getting in the way of my four years of fun. Quite the contrary. I can skip out on some of the basic, enormous freshman classes and have a little more freedom with my degree :)
Besides, AP classes are a lot of fun, if you’re willing to do the work. My AP European History class was amazing!
August 14th | #
Ranjani: For the record, one of my roommates came into college with some ridiculous like 24 units of AP credit. He got to skip out on two classes. He graduated the exact same day as me.
High schools warp kids minds in thinking that college credit = skipped class, but it’s not true at all. For example, if you are taking any kind of engineering classes, you’ll need basic calculus-based physics. AP Physics counts for these classes… in a non-calculus way. So you’ll skip them if you’re an English major, but not if you’re an Engineering major (which requires calculus based Physics — practically the exact same class).
Plus — trust me on this — those basic, enormous classes were some of the most fun of my whole college career. Plenty of people to meet, and usually professors try and make them fun since they think you’ll hate them. Not to mention how easy / little effort they take. Much less than the equivalent AP classes.
August 15th | #
I completely disagree with the AP credit one. I was thrilled to be able to skip some of my initial classes, because that meant that, rather than listening to things I already knew, I could start taking classes that truly interested me. I didn’t want to learn how to take a derivative again, I wanted to start learning where high school left off.
This doesn’t mean that I’m trying to be on the fast track through college, but, rather, it means that I now have space freed up to take classes that aren’t in my major (your bullet point #2) and truly learn new things.
In my mind, it’s just not worth it to be paying $40,000+ a year to just be rehashing high school.
August 15th | #
Fantastic. I’m SO glad I was on the 5 year plan.
August 15th | #
“I mean, you passed elven AP exams”
Elven AP exams? I think the ones I passed were all Dwarven.
August 18th | #
????? ???????.
August 18th | #
AP credits are really nice to have, though, when you’re in your first few semesters and can enroll in classes sooner than any of your peers. I’ve taken several courses that, had I not earned a good deal of AP credits going into college, I would not have gotten into until the next year. I’m not sure that all institutions enroll on a credit basis, but I would imagine it’s a fairly common practice.
August 18th | #
Brian: It’s far more common to enroll based on a alphabetical merry-go-round situation.
I still have never met a single person who graduated any earlier due to AP credits. Almost all people that I knew that “skipped” classes either ended up failing a class (because their AP wasn’t up to speed) or just ended up taking a different class to satisfy the requirement (but told that they were skipping classes to make them feel better). Not to mention passing an AP class is probably on the order of 10 times harder than the equivalent college class.
General Ed classes (AP) are much easier to find at any point in time. Most people determine their college exit based upon advanced technical classes and their schedules. GE classes are offered every quarter, multiple times a day, while advanced classes are often offered only once a year.
Not that I ever expect those super-AP-gurus to ever think their classes were worthless :) It’s hard to fight back years of brainwashing from all your teachers.
August 20 | #
I should write a book on my college career. I’ve taken so many classes out of pure interest that I think I probably have enough credits to add up to 3 degrees in “you know a lot of random shit.” Then again I’m also still an undergrad after 6-7 years, working as a copy bitch and trying to avoid loans like the plague since I can’t even seem to pay off my credit card thanks to some xbox, cameras, apples, envying your monitor, fancy fire-door desks, nice bean bags, crazy geek t-shirts, cool iphone apps, and strippers and birthday cake.
August 22nd | #
The AP classes were definitely harder than college Gen Eds. To be brutally honest, you could wipe out all 6 Gen Eds (we take 6 of them in total at our school) in one semester, while still tackling your core classes from your particular college of choice.
The workload is so miniscule in Gen Ed classes that I fear they may warp the expectations of first-semester freshman, creating habits that will doom them in the upcoming upper division courses.
That being said, I had alot of fun in my Gen Eds, but think it is up to the personal choice of the individual whether to take your time and enjoy these classes, or blaze through them without meeting friends.
I harbor the vain hope that life after college will be even funner and there will be far more people to meet in the working world - but that could be delusion, after all, I took 2 AP classes (neither of which apply to my degree requirements, by the way. Comp Sci and Spanish.).
Are Gen Ed. classes really your final chance to meet people efficiently? I don’t know. I might throw one extra Gen Ed. into my senior schedule just as a test.
August 31st | #
I am guilty of most of what you listed and consequently my college career has been an absolute living hell. However, I am a strictly long-term hedonist (i.e., delaying gratification today in hopes of achieving higher total happiness over the course of my life). Graduating debt free is great… well, maybe beyond great (as in, I will never have to take a crappy position I hate just because I’m desperate to pay loans off), as is graduating with a solid GPA that employers tend to favor, and furthermore, I’m happy knowing that I will have escaped without a single brush with the law or incurable STD. Yes, people like me are no fun at all, but can you blame us? Most importantly, I have been learning non-stop since day one, as much as I could, and will have no regrets later in life that I pissed away four years of opportunity.
Now, to address the specific points you make, I would first say that taking AP classes was one of the best decisions I ever made. Why? Because I was able to get into some upper level classes almost immediately (freshman year), and from there was able to test myself and very quickly figure out if I really liked the field of study… turns out I didn’t, but with extra credits, I could afford to change majors and still be able to graduate in time. Some people seem tend to get locked into one major or career path… say, pre-med, after making a long time committment to it, so testing a field early on is a great way to avoid point number 3 you make. Furthermore, you will certainly not miss out on meeting people… you may “miss out” on some of the freshmen who won’t ever make it into upper level, but you still have plenty of opportunities.
Not living on campus can actually save people some money (esp. if they live at home still), but yes, it can destroy your social life. I have been guilty of skipping out on social activities at the school merely because I didn’t want to spend $5 of gas driving over there. However, people I knew that lived in the dorms seemed just as bored as I was, so I guess it depends on the person as to how valuable an experience it really is. From my own observations, people I knew living off campus in shared houses had the most “fun” in college, and by fun I mean drinking, partying, eating out constantly, and at the end of it, taking over as assistant manager at the local McDonald’s.
I guess the point is, life involves sacrifices, and different people choose differently.
September 8th | #
sg
September 8th | #
Don’t forget to mention work experience. You want to get out behind of the curve? Sit around and only go to school. Don’t try to get an internship or co-op. Do you have no experience and < 3.0? Good luck with that, buddy.
September 10th | #
Hey,
I am a college freshman. I have to admit I liked AP classes. Good teachers, my friends, and sophomore status when I got to college. Not bad. Wiped out about seven GEs.
But I am guilty I trying to finish school as fast as possible. I have already had three panic attacks this semester, because I didn’t get into too classes I wanted. And I was determined to take 30 units every semester. And now only have 23. I am so totally pissed. But I will make it up. I am getting a two BSs and a masters in four years. And I am miserable.
September 14th | #
“Forget going to dinner with your friends. (That’ll cost at least $10!)”
I absolutely hate it when my friends do that. Dude, it’s only a few bucks and we’ll be having good conversation. Oh and they were paying in-state tuition, no reason to complain..
September 18th | #
My roommates were good and made my time fun in my college….I dunno how i would have spend time without em… :)
October 19th | #
I’d just like to say that thanks to my AP tests, I will never have to take a single math or science class in college. Not to mention I didn’t have to take intro to psych, and could go right into educational psychology. This means I get to take the acting and writing classes I’d otherwise have no time for
November 3rd | #
hmmm, i graduated from NYU in 3 years thanks to AP credits, during which time i also managed to sail around the world, party like a sexy demon, even pitch a $100 million account at a major ad agency. i lived ‘off campus’ after my first year and had no problem maintaining a rich social life and a high GPA.
since i enrolled in gallatin, the individualized study school, my self-designed concentration in creative thought allowed me to enjoy a menagerie of courses… architectural design, jazz composition, postmodern critical theory taught through the lens of japanese gangster movies, sociology as it pertains to the american roadtrip, micro and macro economics, medieval french literature, digital art and so on… whatever took my fancy.
of course, this is the reality of a city school, rife with opportunity in all forms. i loved every second of it, my only complaint being that i shortchanged myself a year… my post-college life is nowhere near as varied thus far! still, i saved my parents a good chunk of change which will help my 4 siblings pursue the education they desire, so it’s all good.
my advice: surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you, take classes that hold your attention and spark your passions (making studying effortless), and dive into work experience as soon as possible!
btw, i never accepted unpaid internships, and recommend you do the same. know your worth, but also know that knowledge without experience is worthless.
college is what you make of it. just remember that it doesn’t last forever…!
November 3rd | #
thump4r: Your story sounds extremely likely. So likely, that a real name and punctuation were clearly superfluous. Congratulations on your magnificent achievement.
November 6th | #
i admit that mine is an unusual story, especially when relayed in piecemeal, non-linear form as above, but it is indeed gospel. i just wanted to share my experience because it is a valid counterpoint to your original post, and one i hoped would spark discussion rather than disbelief.
your experience is just as valid as mine, yet neither apply universally.
thanks for encouraging me to engage further with your blog, and for reminding me why i shouldn’t take the time to engage in internet-based discussion.